“Did you forget to take out the trash? Why didn’t you tell me you were going out on a Boys’ Night Out this weekend? Why don’t you call your mother already because she keeps calling me and I have better things to do than be your secretary. Why can’t you put the toilet seat down? Do you think for once, you can put the top back on the toothpaste tube? For once in your life, can you pick up your clothes off the floor. I am not your mother!”
If you are a married man, you have no doubt heard at least one or two of these nagging questions at one time or another, or perhaps even on a daily basis!
Nagging is a well-known intimacy slayer. It can take the best of all marriages and make it crumble when a partner incessantly pesters the other one. Women are wired to nag more than men. I’ve heard it said that women would stop nagging if men simply did what they were told. What? You tell me which man likes to be told what to do by a woman.
It’s true that many men are kings of procrastination. They will tell their wives, “I’ll get to that in just a bit but I can’t right now.” If this is you, then you are asking for trouble! Which leads us to a simple 3-step solution to get your wife to quit nagging you already so you don’t hurt your relationship over something so ridiculous.
Here’s how you do it in two steps:
- Point out the nagging without telling her she is nagging you. Most women are not even aware they are “naggers”. Wait until you are both relaxed and winding down. A Sunday night is the perfect time for those who work Monday through Friday. Start the conversation by saying, “Baby, you know how much I love you and we’ve always been honest with each other. Something is bothering me and I want to let you know so we can talk about it.” Then, break it to her gently by saying, “You know I am far from perfect and there are many times I don’t do what is expected of me right then and there. I need to work on that and I promise I will. But can I ask you to do something for me? Could you please stop reminding me over and over to do the same thing?” NEVER ever say the the word “nag” to her in any way, shape, or form. If she says, “What, you think I am nagging you?” you can reply, “No, it definitely hasn’t reached that point yet but again, the problem here is me, not you. I need to do what’s expected of me but I need for you to help me. By constantly reminding me in a demeaning way, it’s not helping.
- Do what you’re supposed to do when you are supposed to do it! You need to sit down with your wife and discuss each other’s responsibilities and expectations. If you go in with false expectations you will not resolve the issue. A good thing to do is to make a list of responsibilities on a sheet of paper or some type of chalkboard or whiteboard. This way, you can get in the habit of looking at the things to do and complete them much easier. For example, your responsibilities might be; (1) Check the trash and take it out if necessary, (2) Call your mother, (3) Pay the electric bill on this date, etc.
A few key points to remember; if you ever tell your wife to quit nagging, she will not! It will only lead to resentment and the nagging will continue and possible get even worse. Also, take responsibility and stop procrastinating and making excuses. The sooner you do, the better off your relationship will be. Geez, now I sound like I am nagging you!
Dealing with a cheating spouse can be very complicated, embarrassing, and ineffective if you don’t know what you are doing. Like many other life’s challenges, it’s wise to approach this one by being informed and having a plan you can carry out in the most intelligent manner possible.
Here are five steps to guide you through confronting your cheating partner and coming out smelling like a rose:
1. Put your detective hat on. If you have absolutely no evidence to support your belief that your partner is cheating on you, then you need to stop right now and figure out whether or not you are going to go through trying to collect evidence, or drop the case entirely.
Finding a piece of paper with a telephone number on it and no name coupled with the fact that your partner says he or she just came back from a night out with friends, itself, is not enough to start pointing fingers and accusing someone of cheating. However, if the above information is coupled with the fact that one of your good friends saw your partner getting cozy with another member of the opposite sex in the corner of a bar and they left together, causing your partner to get home at 7 in the morning, that’s an entirely different story.
2. Once you have enough facts and a gut feeling that something is going on, it’s time to confront your partner. Get your head together on this one and if it helps, jot down some notes on a piece of paper with things that have occurred to support your belief as well as your plans on what to do if it’s true or if it’s not.
3. Blindside him or her by coming right out with a straightforward statement during a normal moment. Think Mike Tyson verbal uppercut on this one! For example, after you have finished dinner, say something like, “Who is that person I saw you with yesterday at (place)?” By saying this, you’re not divulging information about the sex or name of the person you saw with him or her, and you are leaving this open-ended question to get the response you’re either going to believe or not. He or she will probably be stunned and you will be able to tell plenty based on body language response.
Try to make your partner feel as if you know the truth before he or she comes out with it without coming out and saying it. This will drive them insane thinking they have been caught and if they have been cheating, it’s more than likely they will have no choice but to fess up. On the flip side, you never know; your partner may have a rational explanation for the series of events but always trust your gut instinct.
4. Once your partner replies, do not react unfavorably. Maintain your composure and show how mature you are as a person. From here, depending on your partner’s answer, you can choose to either talk about your problems or excuse yourself and say you need time to think about what’s going on.
5. Assess the situation. If your partner was cheating, reassure yourself that it did not have anything to do with you. Studies upon studies show people who cheat, more often than not, have and will be cheaters all their lives. They are the ones with hangups and demons they must face and they are also likely to never get over whatever complex they suffer from.
Cheaters often times have one or two parents who are cheaters and they basically mimic the exact same behavior they saw while they were growing up, thinking or convincing themselves this is normal behavior. Many people who cheat also place the blame on the other person for their actions; these are the worst kind of cheaters. They are not mentally equipped or capable to accept responsibility for their own actions, especially in relationships.
Things not to do:
1. Don’t get physical or verbally abusive and do or say things you will regret.
2. Don’t appear as if you are a needy person and beg your partner to come back to you even though he or she cheated on you. Have some dignity, for crying out loud, and move on if you have to!
3. Don’t blame yourself and for heaven’s sake, don’t let your partner blame you for the cheating behavior.
With friendships come disagreements, and with these differences of opinions, you are bound at sometime or another to get involved in an argument that may lead to someone getting their feelings hurt. Of course, it’s best to avoid this altogether and you should know you can train yourself to recognize the signs and stop a heated argument before it starts.
We live in the real world and we know in life we are going to have disagreements that may end up in full-fledged verbal combat. There is never an excuse or reason to become physical with someone, especially a friend, no matter how strongly you disagree with someone. You also have to understand mere words are enough to cause everlasting harm to someone, even if you didn’t really mean it. That’s probably why our parents taught us to think about what we are going to say before we say it!
If your friendship has taken a big hit after a verbal spat, here’s how to apologize to a friend and begin to mend your relationship:
1. Text your friend a message or send a letter letting him or her know you are sorry for what happened. You are not admitting fault by doing this; you are merely pointing out the fact that the whole situation has caused you plenty of grief and you don’t want to ruin the friendship. Even if you were right during the argument, who cares? Your friendship is much more important than proving a point. An apology letter to a friend is extremely effective because it’s so personal and the person who receives it knows how much work goes into writing one and mailing it.
2. If you know you were wrong, admit it. Too often, our pride gets in the way of building and maintaining lasting and meaningful relationships. So what if you made a huge mistake! By the same token, if you feel you were not wrong, now is not the time to shove it in your friend’s face. With that said, you should not feel obligated to admit you were wrong unless you genuinely realize you are the one who was in error. Change the subject instead and talk about something else. You have plenty of time to laugh someday about how ridiculous you both acted over something so silly.
3. Introduce a peace offering. Invite your friend to a nice lunch or dinner. This gesture clearly says to the person,”Hey, I’m still here for you through thick and thin” without making it appear that you are sucking up.
4. Give your friend some space. Sometimes, a friend may ignore all of your text messages or phone calls for a while. Don’t let this make you become frustrated or angry; your friend is dealing with it the best way he or she knows how regardless of whether you think it’s right or wrong.
5. When the moment is right, give your friend a hearty hug. So, you guys have talked it through and maybe have come to somewhat of an understanding. You’ve paid the tab at your lunch get-together and now it’s time to seal the friendship. For men, there’s nothing wrong with the firm handshake and a shoulder bump that says, “Dude, I still love you” without even having to say those words of you don’t want to. For women, a full upper torso body hug with a sincere, “I love you” is appropriate.
Great! Now you guys could go back to calling each other all those silly and
funny names as if nothing ever happened. The wonderful thing about your whole ordeal is you can turn your disagreement into an experience that brings you closer together in a friendship.
It’s hard to argue that there is no way you are going to meet the love of your life at Joe’s Tavern on a 25 cent beer night. You just never know where that special someone will appear but one thing is certain; if you make it a habit to frequent bars thinking it’s the best place to meet women, you may want to think again!
Women who go to bars generally have their defenses up, knowing they will be hounded by men who usually want one thing; good conversation…err…just kidding. You know what they are after! They know men are looking to have a great time like they are and most would love nothing more than a one-night stand. Of course, there are some women who are looking for the same thing which is probably why bars and clubs are so popular and successful. Most men understand not every woman who regularly goes to bars is there to hook up and sleep with a guy. However, many men miss the point when it comes to approaching woman in an optimal setting so they can start connecting intellectually. What kind of conversation are you going to have with the latest Rihanna song thumping in your ears?
If you really want to know where to meet single women, you don’t have to look further than your immediate surroundings. Here are the top 3 places to meet your future honey:
1. The neighborhood mall. If you want to meet more trendy chicks, you may want to visit the mall on a Saturday. This is the day when most young women are out shopping for that special night out on Saturday night and you just might catch them at the right place and right time. The best place to go while you are there to meet women is in any women’s specialty clothing store. For example, if you visit a “The Limited” or “Express” store, you will find a variety of women of all ages but mostly ones in their mid to late twenties and early thirties.
An easy way to approach a woman in a setting such as this one is to ask for some advice on clothing you are picking out for your mother or favorite cousin. After connecting with her for a few minutes, thank her for the help and maybe the conversation will lead to the fact that you are having coffee at the “Starbucks” about 7 stores down and you would love to buy her a cup of coffee, nothing more. She will either say yes or no but at the very least, you may be able to leave with her phone number. If she doesn’t want to join you for a cup of Joe and turns around to leave, you can always go and meet cougars hanging out at Dillard’s or Macy’s!
2. At a book store. In my hometown, the Barnes and Nobles book store comes complete with a Starbucks attached to it, making it a no-brainer for people looking for the best places on where to meet women. It helps to be very outgoing in places like these because women will usually be deep into a book they are reading. To approach them, you can ask for their opinion on a book or author, you can play as if you are looking to buy a book for your female cousin who is roughly the same age as her, or you can ask her to watch your laptop for a second and thank her moments later by introducing yourself and offering to buy her a cup of coffee.
3. Your local supermarket. This is the least threatening of all places to meet women because chances are, many women you come into contact with will have already seen you while you have shopped at their grocery store. To give yourself a good chance here, you don’t really have to wait until she tries to pick out a good cucumber; shame on you, that’s too obvious!
Instead, say something humorous as you make it look like you passed each other in the aisle by chance. “Are you following me?” or “There has got to be an easier way,” works wonders as an icebreaker. You can also ask her for help and thank her for saving your day or night with her advice. A word of caution; make sure her husband didn’t excuse himself to go to the bodybuilding protein shakes section!
With so many “get your ex back” digital products out there, it’s difficult to figure out which way to turn when you really do want to get your hands on some solid information to help you reconnect with your “honey” or “baby” and make everything alright! One book says this and the other says that when, in the end, how you approach getting your ex back depends on four things; acquiring good information, devising a plan based on that info, playing it smart, and being patient!
You can’t force a person to want to be with you, much less to love you again. It needs to happen naturally. Many people have reported having much success in reconciling with their exes after learning techniques on how to do it through careful research and by relying on helpful courses through the Internet. The Web has a wealth of free information people will find very useful but it’s difficult to piece the bits of information together to make it work ideally.
Without a doubt, the best way to approach getting an ex back is to find a guide you are comfortable with and put the step by step techniques into action. There are many to choose from and some of these courses teach a novel approach that gets results, evidenced not by the sales pages (these can be manipulated easily), but by the response you read about in forums.
With that said, when it comes to finding ways to get your ex back, the most logical place to start is to know what works and what doesn’t work. Here is a comprehensive list of the 20 most common mistakes people make when they are trying to get their “sweetie” back as well as the right strategies to get your ex back:
1. Appearing needy and begging them to stay. The last thing you want is your ex feeling sorry for you as go down to your knees and beg him or her to stay. It would be absolutely pathetic and uncomfortable for most people to have to endure this and it’s highly likely you will have ruined your chance to get back together. Instead, give your ex some space, acknowledge that it hurts, but don’t give the impression that your world is destroyed because of their departure. Appearing strong is one of the most important ingredients to make your ex get back with you.
2. Calling your ex incessantly. Nobody likes being bothered or suffocated and that’s what you are doing if you don’t leave your ex alone for a while. You will have plenty of time later to reconnect and it’s best to let go at this point in time, at least for a while.The best approach is to call after two weeks and send a sweet text message that reads, “I saw (something or someone) today and it reminded me of you. Just wishing you the best and hoping you’re OK.” A message like this indicates your ex still crosses your mind and that you still care. If your ex does not respond, don’t send another message. Let them make the next move and go from there while keeping in mind that you don’t want to come off as a needy or desperate person.
3. Harassing friends and family members about getting your ex back. Refrain from asking about how your ex is doing, whom she or he is going out with, how your ex feels, etc. Do not fish for information because those same people will let their loose lips fly, the information will get back to your ex, and you will appear as needy as a person who hasn’t eaten for days! You will be back to square one with no chance in the world to get your ex back.
4. Saying you are going to change or you would do anything to get back together. C’mon, where in the world did your self-respect go? You can’t wheel and deal your way back into somebody’s heart! Furthermore, how many times haven’t you heard of someone who has stated they will change, only to do the same thing over and over again. Do you think your ex is going to believe you? Again, you will sound like a beggar if you go this route so leave it alone! A much better route to take here is to show, and not tell, and the only way to accomplish this is through your actions over time.
5. Stalking your ex. Is your ex getting the feeling you are in the same club or bar they are going because you are following them? Are you posting or directing messages to your ex on Twitter and Facebook which make references to your broken relationship? Get real! The worst that can happen is you can get arrested and charged with cyber stalking for causing substantial emotional distress as a result of your messages. Leave you ex alone and stop trying to be sneaky about it because you will not only destroy your chances of getting him or her back, you stand a chance of getting seriously burned.
6. Making your ex feel guilty. This is no time to blame anyone. Doing so will only cause further resentment and you will appear very desperate. Oftentimes, this approach causes the other person to justify why they broke up in the first place and they are happy they made the right decision! Take responsibility for whatever happened by offering no excuses.
7. Panicking and saying things you wish you could take back. When people get hurt, they sometimes say things they don’t really mean while trying to express their emotions. Don’t fall into this trap and get a hold of yourself. You may end up appearing needy and desperate if you don’t have your head screwed on right. Relax and take a step back so you can assess the damage and save your evergy for your plan on how you are going to go about getting your ex back.
8. Maintaining your health and appearance. Many people “let themselves go” after a break-up because they want the other person to see how it is affecting them. This is the total opposite of what you should be doing; you don’t want anybody to pity you! This is a golden opportunity for you to start getting into the best shape you have ever been in; remember, physical attraction is a big part of a romantic relationship.
9. Continuing to be negative. Who in the world are you going to convince that the relationship will work if you never have anything good to say about your life or anything in general? Nobody likes to be around people who are miserable so you should focus on a solution instead of dwelling on the negative aspects of your broken relationship as well as your life.
10. Not appearing confident. You will probably run into your ex at some point in time and now is the time to get your confidence level back up to where it should be. Men and women are both equally attracted to confident people and you don’t want your ex to see you walking around town with your head down and a stick with a bag tied to the end of it while you are kicking empty beer cans!
11. Agreeing to be “just friends.” Never agree to this type of deal because, after all, this is an impossibility because you simply can’t see this person as just a friend if you are in love! This is oftentimes the beginning of the end because you will give the other person an easy way out of any possible future relationship, forever! Tell your ex you understand and respect how he or she feel but that you can’t be just friends, and you need to have a good explanation as to why.
12. Placing your ex on a pedestal. Your ex is not the only fish in the sea and you need to get that through your head. So don’t mope around wishing things could go back to the way they used to be because your ex is the most beautiful thing you ever had in your life. Love can make you blind, so open open up your eyes and see the rest of the world.
13. Drinking excessively or using drugs. The obvious problem with this is your health will suffer and your ex will probably feel pity for you upon hearing how you have taken a turn for the worse. Can anybody say, game over for any chance whatsoever of getting back? It’s OK to hang out with your friends and chug back a few but here are words of caution; the influence of alcohol or drugs can make you do things you don’t want to do such as calling your ex at three in the morning and hearing a person of the opposite sex pick up the phone. Ouch!
14. Putting your life on “hold.” Why would you want to stop living your life the way you know how? Is it going to change anything? Absolutely not. This is the time to resume your life and the great news is you will reconnect with your friends and probably breathe a sigh of relief while you figure out and devise a plan on getting your ex back.
15. Waiting far too long and not putting your plan into action. The worst thing you can do is not be prepared for when your ex calls you. You need to know what to do and what to say. You have to be living your life to the fullest while giving the impression that you have never been more happy with yourself. This is where having a great getting back with your ex guide will make a difference.
16. Not being realistic. You have to come to terms with the fact that there is a possibility that you may have to let go for a while or even forever. You can follow every step of the best plan on ways to get your ex back and it still may not work because the relationship simply was not going to survive in the first place. The sooner you accept this, the better off you will be and you will have a more attractive attitude when you do make contact with your ex.
17. Not being willing to change. Everyone can stand to improve themselves and it makes sense to, once again, show your ex that you can change without coming out and saying it. Your actions will speak volumes when you change your ways and it just might be the magical potion for getting back with an ex.
18. Not paying attention to what your ex wants. Your ex may hate something as simple as the way you drink excessively around her family or how rude you are to waiters when you dine. You should have respected him or her more than you did and now you have to pay the price. People can change and so can you. Make a list of the things you believe your ex hates about you and start working on them, pronto!
19. Having too much pride. Your pride will get in the way of ever reconnecting with your ex if you let it. So what, if you have to admit you were wrong sometimes! Nobody can stand a person who thinks they are always right. If you don’t put a way that foolish pride you may end up sabotaging any real chance you had at getting back together with your ex and letting the chance of a lifetime slip right through your fingers.
20. Not using proper tips and techniques to get their ex back. Everyone needs help sometimes. This is the perfect time to rely on experts who can guide you to having the best chance to get your ex back. If you or a loved one were arrested and facing criminal charges, you would want an attorney to represent you. If you were planning your retirement and had a lot of money to invest, you would want the best financial adviser possible. The same goes with getting your ex back. You want an expert or experts that get results to give you the best opportunity possible. Use the information in this article and check out a few get your ex back guides; they just might be your ticket to finding happiness with your “baby” once again.
So, you’ve made a mistake, and this time, it’s a pretty big one. So huge, in fact, that you wonder if this person will ever be able to trust you ever again. This is where you have to be a strong believer in the words “never say never.”
You may be in a serious romantic relationship where you have hurt your partner either through miscommunication or misunderstanding, false expectations of dating him or her exclusively, or something extremely serious such as cheating. You may be able to win your girl or guy back but you have to know what you are doing. You may be someone who has betrayed a friend because you unexpectedly found yourself in a difficult situation only to hand that person up on a silver platter.
Trust in Relationships Should Be a High Priority
Regardless, it is possible to gain trust back but it may take longer than you expected. You should also accept how the person you hurt may never be able to look at you in the same way as before and he or she will always have a hint of doubt in the back of their mind. If the relationship is able to survive, you had better place a higher priority on maintaining trust between the both of you or your friendship will start to sink again.
Everyone makes mistakes but if you have made a few mistakes which have betrayed someone you have to understand there is a possibility you have absolutely zero chance to get things back the way they used to be.
Even so, here’s how to gain trust back in a relationship even if you think you have a better chance to win the Powerball:
1. Don’t make excuses. Figure out the reason for your actions and explain what happened without trying to justify the motive for your actions. Don’t say I did this or that but I was only trying to….., etc.
2. Don’t blame anybody but yourself. You will not be able to start the healing process until you accept full responsibility for your actions. It’s OK to tell yourself “nobody’s perfect.” It’s not OK to say you did what you did because nobody’s perfect because it implies to the other person that you may do your misdeed again.
3. Accept the fact that you may not be able to fix what is already broken. You have to come to terms with the fact that you may have hurt another person so badly that there may be no going back in trying to make amends. Every situation is different but don’t try to repair a relationship with false expectations or unfair demands.
4. Sincerely apologize for what you did. Don’t pressure someone into forgiving you for your actions. Instead, let them know you understand they may need more time to think about it.
5. Give the person some space. Don’t crowd the person and appear as if you are needy, especially in a romantic relationship. Let them ultimately make the decision as to whether or not you have changed your ways and show that you will, only by your actions.
6. Be patient. If the person wants to forgive and put the incident or situation behind both of you, wait until he or she makes that decision. Don’t pester them into deciding whether or not your relationship is salvageable.
The best part of gaining trust back in a relationship is how we as humans, are generally willing to forgive and forget so we can move forward. Oftentimes, relationships are actually strengthened after surviving a storm! This doesn’t mean you should take a chance on betraying someone so you can apologize and strengthen your bond!