Heartaches are a part of everyone’s lives. We all lose loved ones at some point in our lives, we all get frustrated with certain issues, and we all have our fears. Through it all, we know we have to face the world, make the best of it, and continue our lives in a forward direction no matter what! Living a fulfilling life takes a little work on our part. It doesn’t just come naturally.
At the same time, it is easy to get sidetracked in our journey to becoming happy again as we continually face stressors and other factors in our lives that can easily zap our efforts if we let them. If you find yourself in a place where you know your “happiness” factor can use improvement, here are a few points to keep in mind that can help you smile from ear to ear, permanently:
- Know that you completely control your own happiness. Regardless of anything negative that has happened to you in your lifetime, you are the only one who can decide whether or not you want to be happy. Life throws us a curve, all the time. Our job is to make continual adjustments until we can hit that ball out of the park and circle the bases with a big smile on our face. If you can equate finding happiness to hitting a home run in life, your competitive spirit will carry you through, even in your darkest moments. This leads us to the next entry (#2).
- Never feel sorry for yourself. It’s perfectly normal to go through the “why did this happen to me?” stage but you need to quickly force that attitude right out of your head. There’s a time for us to cry, so if that’s what you need to do at a certain point or moment in your life, then let it out. At the same time, you should be thinking in the back of your mind, “I will get through this and I will prevail.” If you have a winning attitude, there is nothing that can prevent you from finding happiness.
- Stay close to your family and friends. The worst thing you can do when things haven’t gone your way or when you face a difficult moment in your life is to alienate the people who love you the most. You may need time to be alone but there is nothing you will ever face in this life that calls for completely staying away from and avoiding everyone for more than a few months. People who do this are usually in the “feeling sorry for myself” stage” and can’t break free from their self-pity. They make excuses to not continue their normal lives when in fact, that is exactly what they need to do! It’s perfectly okay to grieve, but it is not okay to become a recluse for the next three years and come back out of the blue after those three years expecting everybody to welcome you with open arms. Stay in the loop and let your family and friends comfort you. They are the shortcut to helping you find your happiness once again. It’s always the best way!
- Believe there is nothing you can’t overcome. There is a positive solution for everything in life; you just need to find what that is for your particular situation. The easiest way to learn how to become happy again is to not focus on whatever problem you have. Instead, focus on the solution and you will always get ahead and find the way to happiness in your life.
One final note: Anyone can learn the basics of how to become happy again but if you have the slightest idea that you may be depressed or know someone who you believe is suffering from depression, do your best to make certain you seek professional help. Depression is oftentimes something you cannot physically control and it requires medical intervention to help the person overcome their condition.
It may be one of the most difficult things you can ever do when it comes to facing your fears. There is no way to dance around them; you simply have to confront them and fight to regain total control. Of course, that’s easier said than done but if you have a plan, you may be able to overcome any fear easier than you thought.
The easiest way to conquer any fear is to take them one at a time before proceeding to the next one.
Here are 5 steps to conquering your fears without feeling afraid:
- Identify your worst fear. Either make a mental note of what it is exactly that you are afraid of or write it down. Be specific. If you are afraid of riding in an elevator, you might write something such as how you are afraid of getting stuck and how you are terrified of having the cables snap, causing you to plummet several floors to the ground. Once you have a clear picture of your fear. it’s time to go on to step 2.
- Research all the facts you can about the realistic dangers. Back up your findings with statistics if possible. For example, if you are afraid of flying, find out how much more likely you are to die in a car crash as opposed to riding an airplane. This information will put everything into context for you and it may immediately begin to help you experience some sort of relief.
- Relax as much as possible and try to clear your mind. Deep breathing techniques work wonders for this. Either sit in a comfortable chair or lie in bed and breathe in for 5 seconds using your diaphragm and exhale for 8-10 seconds. Repeat this 10 times.
- Begin rationalizing and being realistic. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that could happen?” and follow that by answering your question, realistically. For example, getting back to the fear of flying, you might answer by saying, “Flying is so much safer than riding in a car and statistically, the worst thing that will happen to me is a loss of cabin pressure which can be taken care of by following procedures and instructions.
- Tell yourself you can change and beat any of your fears. By practicing a simple affirmation technique and telling yourself you can overcome anything, you will eventually do it. Be positive and don’t be afraid to take a step backwards before going forward once again if you have to. Never give up. You can do anything your set your mind to do!
The most important part of learning how to overcome any fear is to never give up and stay consistent in taking the steps to beat those fears. Think “eye of the tiger” and always have a winning spirit!
How do you overcome fear? Do you have any of your own special techniques that get results. Please let us know.
When most men think about attracting women, they see it as a huge challenge because they immediately focus and rely on their personal looks without considering other major factors. Men also tend to become a little narrow-minded when it comes to believing a woman is solely attracted to great looks and money.
If you subscribe to this way of thinking, I have news for you; the vast majority of women are not that shallow. Of course, there are exceptions to the rule. However, if you think you need to walk around with a wad of hundred dollars bills in your pockets and drive a Ferrari, you’re missing out on more opportunities than you could ever know what to do with!
If you walk through a busy and popular nightlife area in your hometown, you will at some point, without a doubt, see an extremely homely or average looking guy with a knockout attached to his arm. You’ll say to yourself, “How in the world does a guy like this get a chick like that?” Then, you can joke all you want to. You could surmise the man is well-hung or has something else going for him that is beyond your present imagination.
Actually, you’re right when you say he has something you don’t have. He has “the right information.” he knows about ways to attract women, and more than likely, he has used this information to his advantage over and over again while guys like you and I sit on the sidelines offering guys like him bottles of water to quench his manly thirst.
If you want to get rid of the “water boy bucket” and become a star on the playing field, here are some tips on attracting women any man can use to his advantage:
- Pay close attention to your grooming and hygiene. When you walk up to a woman, the first thing she’s noticing of course, is your smile and your body. Do you smell clean? Do you have a pleasing body smell or is she getting the impression you smell feminine like her mother on a good day? The next thing she’ll do is look at your hands and focus on your fingernails. Are you a nail biter? You had better have a perfect body if your fingernails are down to the nub! If you have sandals, she’ll look down at your feet and make a determination right away as to whether she can ever picture herself frolicking in the pool or on the beach with you. If you have can openers for toenails, make sure you keep them trimmed or your plumb out of luck!
- You have to exude confidence without appearing arrogant. Chicks do not dig guys who are far too into themselves. They generally prefer guys who have an air of confidence about them and those who can laugh at themselves. They love men who appear fun and humble and a man whose body language boldly states, “If you are with me, you will enjoy life more than ever and you will have nothing to fear, ever.”
- Make eye contact and connect with a smile. When men enter a room, they begin scanning and within a minute, they have already picked out the girls who interest them. Once you have chosen the woman whom you will attempt to captivate with your charm, start by making eye contact and subtly smiling in 3 minute intervals for 2-3 seconds at a time once her eyes meet yours. If she’s not interested, she won’t look back a second time. If she is interested, walk up to her with your suave, personable self and simply say, “Hi, I’m Biff, and I want to be your stud muffin!” C’mon, I’m just kidding; say this awesome, time-tested line; “Hi. I’m so and so. I have to tell you I’m here talking to you because you caught my eye and I had to come and say hello.” Bam! What an icebreaker! Works like a charm, almost every time!
See how easy that was! The rest is up to you. In the next installment, I’ll teach you how to continue the conversation and reel her in as if she were a giant, 125 pound Tarpon so you can possibly someday call her the fillet of your soul!
………………..bar room background noise.
Jonathan: Dude, get away from her, I saw her first.
Dude: What are you talking about, you were writing some how to attract beautiful women mumbo jumbo on that napkin and I saw you typing on your iPhone and hitting the send button. You snooze, you lose and pay your dues!
Jonathan: But I need to tell her a fishing story I heard about recently!
Camera fades away…………………
All you married men in the house say, “Yeah!” A chorus of “yeahs” is heard. All you married men who love your wives say, “Yeah,” and again, you hear a chorus of yeahs and a few distant hisses. Those of you men who are married and have treated your wife in a romantic way within the last three months say, “Alright.” Suddenly, you hear crickets chirping. What was that all about?
We men have a tendency to become complacent once we feel safe in our relationships with our wives. The only consolation is that it works the other way around, too. Women react the same way when they know they have a safe haven and feel secure in their lives. However, someone’s gotta’ make a move, right? Are you going to sit back and continue eating popcorn and Goobers every night in your unsexy foot warmer shoes while you watch your favorite TV programs or are you going to try your best to spark the romantic flame that has somehow flickered and disappeared?
If you can learn how to romance your wife you will be far ahead of the game compared to 90% of all married men out there, which means your wife will be receiving an elite class of treatment from her significant other. You don’t really need to buy a ‘Romance For Dummies’ book to get ideas on how to relight the candle in her heart. In theory, romancing a woman is not difficult at all when it comes straight from the heart, so here’s what you can do to prepare for tonight or any day of the week:
- Resolve to start doing those ‘little things’ to get her attention and to show her how you still have a fire burning in your heart, just for her!
- Call her at least two times during your workday to tell her you have been thinking about her. If you want, you can tell her you were just remembering the night both of you made passionate love in the moonlight in the back seat of your 1981 Toyota Corolla and a cop walked up with a flashlight! You get the point? Yes, this is the setup part so you can build a little momentum in your favor for later.
- Stop by Walmart or Macy’s during your lunch hour and get a few dinner candles if you don’t already have some, and get a bottle of your favorite wine at the supermarket. If you don’t have a favorite wine, visit your local liquor store and ask them to help you choose an inexpensive but good wine; there are tons of them out there so this should be easy!
- Get her at least a dozen red roses while you are at the supermarket and a Hallmark card from Walgreens or CVS.
- Order takeout at your favorite restaurant (doesn’t have to be fancy) and pick it up on the way home and write a sexy message on the card while you are waiting for your order.
- When you walk through the door, walk up to her and resist giving her a lovy-dubby smooch! Instead look her in the eyes, give her the flowers and the card, and tell her how in love you are with her. At this point she’s either going to look you in the eyes and ask, “What did you do wrong?” or “What in the world has come over you?” It doesn’t matter. Reassure her that you were thinking about her all day and wanted to make this night special for no reason in particular, “just because.” Then, give her a soft, loving kiss on the lips.
- Set up the dinner table with the dinner candles and place the flowers in a vase and place those nearby. Break out the bottle of wine and decide if you are going to both shower before dinner and if you are, shower together! Make sure you lock the bedroom and bathroom door if you have kids but make sure they are safe.
- If you have kids, get dressed and feed them first. Let them know you and their mom are going to have a special dinner and they need to go their rooms and do their homework or chores while you are both spending time together alone.
- Dim the lights and work some magic. She will love you for it!