During a recent family get-together someone commented on figuring out how to be a gentleman is no longer the fashionable way to go. I wasn’t surprised by this remark but I certainly had my own opinion, and you better believe I gave it! When I was said and done, I felt like I had just put on a clinic and the most embarrassed person in the room was the instigator’s wife.
I grew up in a respectful but non-strict household with very loving parents and I always observed my father treating my mother like the lady she was and still is today. One of the most impressionable lessons I learned from my father that I carry with me to this day is how pleasurable and gratifying it can be to treat a lady and all others with the respect they deserve and be acknowledged for it.
When it comes to being a gentleman, times have changed but the basics remain the same. Being a gentleman doesn’t necessarily revolve around looking out for ladies; throw children and seniors into the mix, too!
More than anything, being a gentleman shows you are unselfish and that you care about other people. There are few things more attractive to a lady than a person who shows thoughtfulness, consideration, and respect.
Here’s my recipe on how to be a gentleman in today’s modern world:
1. Always open the door for a lady before you go through that same door. I have been met with plenty of resistance on this one when it comes to the workplace. The argument always revolves around why men should open doors for women if they’re considered equals in a business type atmosphere. It doesn’t matter one bit. You are physically the stronger sex. It is your duty as a gentleman to protect a lady and make sure they are safe from harm. The worst-case scenario here is the door can slam on their backside and worse yet, on their face or heels Ouch! Boy, wouldn’t you look like a self-centered fool if you were the one out in front?
The cardinal rule here is; when entering or exiting through doors always look back before you proceed through that door. There may be a lady or a few ladies right behind you and it is highly likely they will show you their gratitude for being so kind. Do the same for children and seniors. Ahh, nothing like the feeling of being recognized as a gentleman.
2. Give up your seat in a crowded room when there are no other seats left. How often haven’t you been to a trendy restaurant and you have seen a few twenty-something year-old men in a group sitting in the only chairs available while two little old ladies are left scratching their head as to why they’ve been standing for 30 minutes when a true gentleman would have given up their seats? Men like these should be taken out back and bitch-slapped just for good measure while hearing a crowd of people repeatedly chant, “Yo mama didn’t raise you right!” Pow!
The rule here is to definitely give up your seat to the ladies and seniors. Children have enough energy where they can stand for long periods of time and if not, they can usually settle into the arms of their loving parents.
3. Don’t be afraid to compliment someone. This one works really well on first dates as well as a night out with your girlfriend or spouse. Make sure the compliment is sincere and kind of light so it doesn’t scare a lady. Women love reassurance and if you are out on a first date, this is almost a requirement because nothing can make a woman feel more like a woman than a gentleman saying something nice about her appearance.
4. Don’t say bad things about other people. If you have to confront someone and let them know what’s on your mind, do it in person and not behind that person’s back. There are few things more undesirable than a man who’s a back stabber or a gossiper.
5. Be true to your word. My father led by example when he told me, “If you
make a promise, you better be able to fulfill it.” On this one, I would say you
are allowed one mistake and that is only if your intentions were noble. However, if you’re in the habit of going back on your word then by definition you are not a true gentleman, because this type of behavior is anything but honorable.
The most logical and easiest way to learn how to be a gentleman at its core involves being a nice person and constantly showing consideration for others.