I look around at my co-workers and can’t help but notice how many of them absolutely adore their children but they readily admit how they continue to sacrifice time spent with them for the chance at making a little more money while at work. I feel like I have a responsibility to tell them how this approach has worked out for me over the last few years and how I have changed this approach to make my life as well as my children’s lives much more fulfilling than ever.
My first daughter, who is now 29 years old, was the product of a failed marriage that lasted two years. As an every-other-weekend father, I barely had enough time to bond with my child during her formative years. To make matters worse, her mother moved two thousand miles away with her with my consent so she could pursue her dream career in the armed forces. It was contingent on the promise of her returning within 4 years and I gave her my full blessing, trying not to interfere with her chance to make something of herself after the divorce so she could provide for my child. Even though she returned four years later as promised, this is where the trouble started!
I never gave myself a chance to really bond with my first child because I hardly ever saw her for a few years and during the times we did get together, it was over in a flash. My first child has since grown and she did so without a father heavily influencing her life. I must say, it shows!
Back then, I didn’t know how bonding with your child could prove to be the biggest advantage when it came to helping a child grow up to be everything they could be. My daughter carries much resentment for my absence as a father to this day. Worse yet, as the product of a broken home, I have no problem saying the truth; she didn’t turn out to be the person I hoped she would be for her own sake. Yes, she’s a loving and beautiful person! however, she is also the laziest person I know and she has landed in county jail twice for felonious offenses, one of which she is still facing.
How did this happen? Why does this occur to so many families? A parent’s usual worst fear is that their child will either die or turn out rotten. My 29 year old daughter is neither. But something went wrong along the way and unlike most scenarios, I can definitely put my finger on this one. I know exactly what happened and I can’t say I didn’t see it coming.
I take full responsibility for the decisions I made which had a direct impact on my daughter’s life. What if I would have fought for her to stay in my state all those years ago? What if I had been more successful at my career so that I could take more frequent trips to see her? So many questions still run through my head to this day and it’s easy to see how our family could have had a much better chance at avoiding this type of situation with my daughter altogether, if I had done things differently. We all live and learn, I guess. But at what expense?
I believe I have the answer if you want to have the best chance at raising a child who can flourish and always stay close to you. Bonding with your children is the way to go!
Bond With Your Child and Watch Them Flourish
Here’s how to avoid the majority of behavioral problems children face today; be a parent who is unafraid to provide structure in the household and bond with your children. It’s as simple as that!
There is no parenting manual that can teach you step by step but folks, it really is an easy process. If you are there consistently there for your children and you actually take the time to participate with them in daily activities, they will bond and become close to you in mind and spirit. When you come home from work every day, instead of focusing on how tired you are and thinking only about yourself and your favorite TV show as you plop yourself down on the couch, go hang out with your kids. Ask them how their day was and give them a daily hug and kiss while telling them how much you love them.
Include them in most everything you do, even if it means asking them if they want to come with you while you pick up a few extra groceries. Heck, occasionally treat them to a little ice cream at Cold Stone or TCBY or buy them a toy at Toys R Us without going so far as to spoil them completely.
Pass up the chance to work overtime if you really don’t need it to make your rent payment or to pay your electric bill! How much more money are you going to really make and why is it that the more money we make, the more we spend, anyway? What is more important to you?
Take a look….no, I mean really look into your children’s eyes tonight before they go to bed and ask yourself if you want those kids to have a fulfilling life and to love and respect you forever, the way you love and cherish them. Bonding with your children will become natural when you place everything in perspective.