Men have always had it easier than women when it comes to performing necessary chores and work at home. It’s an American tradition that sadly, still continues today due to the way many parents continue to raise their children by instilling in them that a woman is supposed to take care of all the house work while the man is supposed to be the breadwinner. The problem with this mentality is that roughly 60% of married women today work outside the home and many have to perform double duties when they get home after a full day’s work. For many of these women, work never stops, even on weekends!
Many parents today are still stuck in the 1950’s mentality where the man would try work enough to fully support the family while the woman took care of the household. Back in those days, the woman would make breakfast for the family, take the kids to school or see them off on their school bus with their prepared lunches, they cleaned the house and washed and folded all the clothes, they would cook a hearty dinner for the family and at night, they were expected to please their man in bed. Even back then, women were working much harder than many men who worked their 9-5 jobs!
Fast forward to today and this so-called American tradition has become an excuse for many married men who are downright selfish or just plain lazy!
Case in point; one of my childhood friends works as a county clerk from 8-5, Monday through Friday, and her spouse works the same hours at his office job. Both have generally the same type of stressors at work and they both get home at the same time every evening after fighting rush hour traffic. The moment she walks through the door, she’s expected to make sure her twelve and fourteen year-old kids are done with their homework. If they are having trouble with it, she’s always the one who comes to the rescue. By 6:30 P.M., she’s still in her work clothes cooking in the kitchen while her husband has already showered and has plopped himself in front of the big-screen T.V. in the living room with remote in hand.
He simply thanks her and goes back to the couch while his wife and daughter assume the responsibility of cleaning up. The 12 year old boy goes straight upstairs to his room. When she is done in the kitchen, she goes upstairs and takes care of washing any necessary clothes and folding them as she tries to relax by 9:00 P.M. Do you see anything dysfunctional in this? I certainly do. When I ask my friend why this is happening and how she allows this to continue, she simply says it was the way he was raised. If he reads this article I’m sure he is going to know I am talking about him and that’s perfectly alright. For the record, he’s a selfish bastard! Yeah, I said it!
I’m sure many of you reading this have similar stories and examples of the injustices going on in many of America’s homes.
It’s time for many men to step up to the plate and start playing the game right. That’s not to say there are men who perform their fair share of house work and even some who perform all the house chores. There are simply far too many men abusing their wives by not sharing household responsibilities.
For those of you men who don’t do anything; shame on you! It’s not too late. You need to realize not helping around the home is one of the easiest ways to make a woman start resenting you and although you probably have your learned family values to thank for it, you need to break the cycle. Your parents, although they had good intentions in raising you based on the way they were raised, were dead wrong when they told you a woman was supposed to do all the house work.
For those of you who think you are traditionalists and you are going to raise your children with these distorted values, you should know you are setting your kids up for possible failure in their marriages or other relationships. We have evolved as a nation and society, and one thing is clear; many married men need to get their head out of their behinds or risk ruining many lives!